Sunday was full of all types of emotions for me.  As I relfect, I remember when I cried, when I laughed, when I was shocked, when I was grateful, when I was in awe, when I was mad, when I was hurt, and when I had an overwhelming sense of love and appreciation.  How, you ask? well, this sunday was the last day for all of my youth leaders in church.  three left. one is getting married and moving away, the other two feel that God needs them at another church, so they are transferring. the first one, Justin, is my youth minister, but I'm not very close to him.  we've talked, but somehow, I feel like I can't talk to him, because I'm not cool enough and he doesn't care what I have to say.  there are just some people that are so different from you that you feel intimidated by them, and, in my case, he's one of those people.  but, au contraire, the other two mean very very much to me.  becky and jered.  they have helped me in countless situations and I can honestly say that I owe my life to them.  jered especially.  At first, I was shy around him, because he was very loud and outspoken and I felt defeated when I was around him, but that all changed in one night.  one wednesday night.  it was exactly one year after Sept. 11, at church and he was giving a lesson on the joy that God can bring to christians that others don't recieve.  I felt God weighing on my heart and my soul and all I could think about was accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior, so I did.  Jered led me through the prayer and tears came to both of our eyes.  it was undescribable, amazing.  that was the night I was saved, thanks to the help of Jered.  Becky and Jered gave me advice numerous times and taught me important lessons using the word of God in all areas of life today, and I mean ALL areas.  during that sleepover at their house I wrote about before, I had a very emotional heart-to-heart with becky and she now gives me the strength and encouragement that my family lacks.  before talking to her, as I'm sure you have read, I was in the dumps, depressed, struggling to stay above water, but she helped me up and now I know she is someone to talk to and stay with when I get locked out of the house, because I know that not only will both her and Jered comfort and support me, but they will help me keep my confidence in God, because times like those are the times I ask, "why, God? Why me? why this? why now?" but the last thing I should do is turn my back on God, because he is the only one who can help me through. 
Jered was also baptized at the same time as me and that is an incredible experience to share with someone. On Sunday they went through the youth group to each person and told them how much they mean to them and we remembered the wonderful times we shared.  every girl and even some of the guys were crying.  When they got to me, Becky said many things that touched my heart, too much to write down and said that Jered and I definitely have a close bond, and we do, and when she said that, jered just let it all out, he cried without even trying to hold it in, and so did I.  later when I was saying good-bye to Jered, we hugged and cried and hugged again. but then he said something that I'll never forget. he said, "I'm probably gonna miss you the most." that shocked me a bit, because I thought that he was closer with others in the youth group, but now that I think about it, we had shared so many important times and decisions together, that there was automatically a tie between us that is unbreakable.  even though we're still gonna visit them a lot, I'm gonna miss them so much. 
watching a person accept Christ is...man...I can't even think of a word to describe it. you're watching God save that person's soul and that has no match.   I've only had that experience once, but I don't know if it counts, because he didn't really believe.  I invited Kyle to a church event with me and the speaker was Dave Edwards.  Throughout the entire night, I was just hoping and praying that Dave's words would hit a nerve and maybe Kyle would accept Christ.  At the end of the event, he asked for people who wanted accept Christ or renew their relationship with Christ to step foward and go to another room with thier youth minister for prayer.  most of the people left and the rest of us waited in the sanctuary for their return.  Brittany and i were the only ones left and I was so excited, because Kyle had left to make his decision.  I was so giddy and couldn't stop smiling, because I felt so honored that God used me to reach Kyle, and now he succeeded!  Then, Kyle and the others came out and everyone was telling me that Kyle accepted Christ! I went up to him and gave him a hug and said if he ever wants to talk, hey, I'm always around, and I still am. but he didn't seem so happy. he just said, eh, I don't know. as soon as I heard that, i knew he didn't truly believe and I was crushed.  He later told me that he didn't at it was back to where we started. well, not exactly. I'm sure that night had some effect on him and his beliefs.  I pray for him all the time and I know that God is going to reach him somehow, because he wouldn't have taken him all this way for nothing. every time I talk to him I hope he brings up the topic of my christian beliefs, so I can talk to him about it.  evangelism is my gift from God, because, unlike many Christians, I'm not afraid to announce my beliefs over a loud speaker and every chance I get, I witness to others.  Any of my fellow Christians who are reading this, I encourage you to discover your gift and use it to spread God's love. not everybody is a preacher, but every body, in some form, can preach.